


suddenly love doesn't seem very far

by mind_boggling



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Abuse warning, F/M, Suicide mention, other characters are mentioned but i cba to tag them, pls be careful, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:38:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mind_boggling/pseuds/mind_boggling
Summary: I apologise for any hurt I have caused you; you were there for me when I hurt so much I never thought it would stop. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you.I'll always remember the dumbass who sat next to me in history class freshman year, my best friend. His charm and wit is hard to forget.Yours,Kate





	suddenly love doesn't seem very far

**Author's Note:**

> rendition of _"we met at 14, fell in love at 16, ran away at 18, and separated at 21— i never knew what happened to you up until my first day of college where i was walking downtown with my textbooks (because i got my shit together, duh) and then bam. there you are, sitting on the street, still wearing the clothes i left you in. this is gonna be awkward, isn't it?"_  
>  or  
> a friends-to-lovers sethkate au

**— fourteen**

Kate was merely a freshman. Her first day as a freshman, to be exact. 

She knew nobody, having moved from Kansas during summer after her parents divorce. Scott stayed with their mother, Kate moved with their father. They were miles away from each other instead of at opposite ends of a shared bedroom. It was things like that which set their parents apart; lack of finances, awkward work schedules, complaints about tiny things that usually go unnoticed. It was when they became noticeable that it was a sign things were breaking up.

She had made small talk with her father over the few meals they'd shared together since moving into their new apartment; there was nothing but the giant elephant in the room to talk about, so she talked about nothing at all. Being thrown into a new environment at the age of fourteen was exactly the kind of thing she would have protested if the circumstances weren't so bad. She almost felt sorry for him, so she left it at bay.

Her first class seemed to be History, and after a little detour on route to her class, she found the room it was located in. The class seemed relatively large, so she took a seat near the back on an empty desk in the hope to go unnoticed. Other students around her, ones with established friendships and even relationships, joking and laughing around, were too loud for her liking. Instead, she buried herself in a text book. 

"Anyone sitting here?" 

Kate flinched a little, the pages folding back over the spine of the book as it slipped from her hands. She looked up at the thin and lanky boy stood in front of her, a black backpack falling from his right shoulder. Instead of responding, she removed her bag from the other chair and motioned toward it. He slunk behind the desk and sat next to her quietly as the professor entered the room. Immediately, the class shut up and the intimidation he brought with him began rising within the students. 

"Oh Jesus" The boy muttered from next to her, yanking a notepad out from his backpack as well as a pen, before placing them on the desk in front of him. "I can't stand Gonzales, the dude's actually kind of terrifying"

Kate side glanced him, his eyes on the front of the room as he pressed the end of the pen to his chin in boredom. She couldn't quite tell if she could trust him yet. "He seems alright to me" She whispered in response.

The boy scoffed. "You've got another thing coming"

Kate scowled at him. "Is that right?"

"Quit staring at me" He retorted, harshly but playfully, eyes still glued to the front of the room. Kate did the same, feeling her cheeks grow ashen with embarrassment. They were silent for multiple minutes, as Gonzales introduced the syllabus, as well as handed copies out on each desk. 

"I knew I hadn't seen you before" His voice was gruff and yes, she had to admit, terrifying, as he approached their desk. "You're the new student..." he paused, clearly trying to remember her name and failing. Clicking his fingers, she flinched. "Fuller"

"Kate" She replied quietly. She took the syllabus from him as he retreated around the other side of the desk. "Thank you"

"Weary choice of partner, Ms. Fuller" He replied, slamming a syllabus down on the other side of the table. "This one's a trouble maker" Kate watched him walk away with confusion, before looking at the grinning boy on her left. It was smug and annoying, and she wanted to wipe it right off there and then.

She knew exactly what Gonzales meant. He spoke with a small wink. "The name's Seth" 

**— sixteen**

"I can't believe you made me go to that party"

The two walked through the suburban neighbourhood, the base from the music still echoing in the distance. It was quiet, because nobody in a suburban neighbourhood was awake past midnight. They were an hour in the clear. He scoffed loudly. "Give over, Kate, you know you loved it you couldn't stop dancing with Kyle Sanders"

"For your information, Kyle Sanders wouldn't stop dancing with _me_ " She replied loudly, only causing him to crack a huge chortle into the night air. She shoved him playfully and he stumbled into the road, laughing along with him. "My dad, is gonna absolutely kill me if he even finds a hint of alcohol on me not only am I 16 and underage, but he is an avid worshipper of the Lord" 

Having been separated now for two years, Kate had noticed her father begin to deteriorate. He'd picked up a bible more often than he ever had before and started staying out late at night at Church. Kate had begun to become accustomed to the silence and the stench of alcohol that he very clearly tried to hide. No matter how many times he denied it, she still knew. She knew why he tried to hide it: because he was convinced he was letting her down.

Once she'd let it all slip, Seth had been an angry mess. He'd begun crashing at her house on a Friday night, sleeping on the couch just to make sure she was okay. He somehow knew exactly when her father arrived and made his exit coinciding with her father's arrival home. He was never there the next morning and Kate always admired his secrecy. 

"He won't" Seth replied, shoving his free hand in his pockets. She knew Seth resented her father for what he did, but she couldn't stop loving him. He did try. He did, and even if Seth didn't get that, it was all Kate needed to reassure herself. She couldn't let him down like he never let her down. "You're crashing at mine anyway so any trace of whatever you drank will be gone. Which I have to say, was quite a lot"

"I didn't even drink that much!" Kate protested before she pushed him even harder and he laughed, defending himself with the heels of her shoes. She was unable to attack him at an ideal height as over their two year friendship, he'd shot up in height and bulked up completely whereas she was probably still the same height as when they first met.

(Her feet were killing, so he gave her his boots and took hold of her heels awkwardly. She claimed there would be nobody around to see him holding them and he obliged. It wasn't exactly a lie.)

Seth jostled her around playfully, running off ahead of her before she sprinted after him yelling loudly. He may be tall and unreachable, but there was one thing that he was terrible at - track. Kate, on the other hand was one of the best on the team. She caught up to him with ease, practically launching herself at his back and gripping on as they both fell to the ground in the middle of the street.

"Fuck, Kate, do you want me to break an ankle?" He cursed, biting back laughter. She just laughed as they lay in a heap on the ground before he stood up once again, holding an arm out for her to grip onto. As she stood, her body fell heavy and limp and the urge to lay back down again was strong.

"Tell me again why we couldn't have just called a cab" Kate complained, the tiredness hitting her in an instant as they began walking side by side once again. 

"Nothing wrong with a bit of fresh air" Seth answered gleefully, almost too gleefully, and Kate frowned in response because it was by far the dumbest thing he'd said all night. 

"You sound like my father" She retorted jokingly.

"You fucking take that back" Seth snapped, only causing her to burst into a loud cackle of laughter. They approached the road that his house perched on the edge of but unfortunately, it was all the way at the other end of the street. "I can't believe you'd say that to me, Kate, I'm genuinely offended"

Kate paused, turning back toward him. "Can we please just go home and get into bed? I'm tired and it's too early in the morning for the latest round of "I hate your dad", okay" Seth never spoke again, walking up toward her and letting her link arms with his. Kate placed her hand on his bicep, leaning her head against it as they continued walking in content silence. 

A few houses down from his own, he spoke once again. "Kate?"

"Hm?" She asked in a tired response.

"I love you" He answered.

"I know" Kate replied simply, "You tell me every time you get drunk" 

He shook his head even though she couldn't see and repeated himself. "I _love_ you, Kate. I have for a long time now"

Kate's breath hitched as she clocked on. Her hand tightened around his bicep. Her voice came out in an inaudible whisper. "Seth" His heart was pounding as she pulled away from his arm, pressing a hand toward his chest. She looked up toward him, extending on her tiptoes as his boots lacked in height. 

She instantly pressed her lips to his, and the world around them was lost.

**— eighteen**

She felt herself flinch as the revolving doors shut behind her when she stepped off the bus. The stop was close to Seth's house and she made a short walk up to his front door that opened before she could even knock. 

Seth was one more bad day from flunking the entire of senior year. Kate had told him this multiple times, but he continued to ignore it. After losing his mother earlier in the year to suicide just around the corner from his eighteenth birthday, it had turned him feeble and bitter - the two didn't mix. Of course Kate stuck by him, she always would no matter the circumstances. But she was obliged to tell the principal why he'd begun skipping class. 

"Gonzales is pissed," She started, handing him a folder full of work before letting him plant a kiss on her forehead. Kate took one look around the living room as Seth headed into the kitchen with the work in his arms. It was a complete and utter mess, but she wasn't exactly surprised. He'd been avoiding her coming over for a while because of it. "He wants you to email him or whatever. I think he honestly wonders if you even exist anymore"

"Good" Seth answered angrily. "Let him be as pissed as he wants I can't fucking stand the dude"

"Still?" Kate asked, attempting at a joke.

Seth ignored it. "How are you?" 

She sighed. "Surviving" 

"Kate.." he muttered pitifully.

"It's fine," She said, forcing a smile. She pressed the tears rising in her throats down, keeping her eyes on Seth at all times. "It's good. It's all good. How are _you_? That's the important thing. Do you want a bagel? I saved you one I got from _Joe's_ on the way here"

Seth was silent as she pulled her backpack round from her shoulder and placed it on the floor. As she bent down and unzipped it, she rooted through the bag and pulled the greasy bag with the bagel in out from between her things. She stood from her crouched position and Seth was standing in front of her watching her. His beard had begun growing wildly, and she could tell that whilst he'd been skipping classes, he'd been at the gym instead.

"I thought you said it had stopped"

Kate frowned, the bruise on her hip pulsating with guilt. Her whole body began to fill with dread, dread of the fight that was brewing between them. The same as every other fight they had about the exact same thing. She wouldn't get away with lying, but she would try, just like every single other time. It was always the same. "What?"

"Did he lay a hand on you?" Seth asked, his voice scarily quiet as he stalked across the room toward her. She clutched the bagel bag in her hands and it shook gently with fear. "Did he hit you, Kate?"

"What? No" Kate answered firmly. It didn't work. It never did. Seth squeezed his eyes closed, shaking his head in frustration. She knew that it hurt him and part of that feeling was cast on her. Part of her knew that hurting him now was saving him from the hurt in the long run. It was the best she could do.

"Don't lie to me," He begged angrily. He refrained from touching her when all she wanted was for him to hold her. It was a hunger she'd never known before; she watched him scratch at his beard before he spoke again. "I saw that bruise on your hip. Are there more? That I don't know about?" 

"Seth, please-"

"Why won't you just move in with me?" He asked, taking hold of her hands. She dropped the bagel bag to the floor between them. "Huh? Give me a valid reason why you won't just move in with me and I'll drop it" 

"It's not that simple, Seth" She whispered, her tears resurfaced and she smiled pathetically. His frown faltered slightly and he swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"But it is" He answered, his voice low but soft. He pulled her into his chest quickly, wrapping his arms around her tightly. In some of the places he squeezed, it hurt. And Kate longed for it to stop, to be able to hug him without feeling as though she would fall apart when he let go. Break into small pieces with sharp edges. Because that's exactly what would happen. 

Her voice vibrated against his chest. "I can't leave him. He's my father"

"You deserve better than him" She could hear traces of tears in his voice and it only made her ache even more. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears rolled out, pulling away from Seth as she wiped her cheeks. 

"But what if I don't?" She asked, folding her arms with agitation. Seth stared at her in confusion, and anger. It was strange, the mixture of emotion across his face as his eyes narrowed and his body turned stiff. "What if this is just how it's supposed to be now? What if it's just the plan that G-"

Seth groaned aloud, sighing with annoyance. "Fuck God, Kate. Cut the bullshit, alright? Just listen to me, for one second" He took her hand once again, leading her to the couch in his living room, perching on a clean seat that had no trash on it. "My brother's back on the radar. A few weeks back, maybe months, now, I don't know, he contacted me and we've been talking. He won't tell me where he is but he told me that he's got a secure place up in DC. It's mine if I want it"

Kate took a few seconds before she took a breath. "Wow, what a big "thanks for all your help but fuck you, Kate", really fucking nice, Seth, all these months you've been cutting class you've been plotting to run away? All because your batshit ex con brother told you he can help you after he abandoned you? Are you crazy?"

"Kate, you're not listening" He said. "It's an apartment in DC, a good neighbourhood where there are plenty of educational facilities in the area. Richie can fix me up with a good amount of cash, enough to last me a long while until I get a job and stuff. It's a place to disappear. There's nothing good left for me here, my old lady made that pretty clear. And I don't want to go it alone. And I don't want to leave you alone, either. The apartment houses two. It's yours if you want it"

Kate could only laugh. "Did you just suggest we run away to DC?"

"I've heard crazier plans" He answered, taking hold of her hand instantly. "Listen, Kate, I've never seen myself with a future, but with you, it's possible. It's a growing vision in my mind, whereas before it was just an empty abyss. It doesn't exist without you. I can't even imagine it, without you in it. I love you, Kate"

Kate paused. "Seth, I love you. You know that. But I can't just drop everything and get up and leave. Even if I wanted to" 

"There's four months left til graduation" He said, squeezing her hands. "Think about it til then and if you really don't want to go, then you don't have to go," He answered. "And if you really think it's a dick move and I should stay, then I will. For you"

Come the evening of graduation; partying all night long, they took off to DC the next morning without uttering a single goodbye. 

**— twenty one**

Seth was a heavy sleeper. It had always been fact. Which is why she got the majority of her packing done without him stirring once. 

Kate hesitated before she decided to leave. She watched Seth's chest rise and fall as her own heart pounded with guilt and fear. Part of her hoped he'd wake and stop her, tell her not to go and her foolishness would give in and curl up next to him in their bed. The other part had gotten a breath of fresher air and couldn't wait to escape. She felt nothing but guilty for it.

He slept in the middle of the bed; Kate perching gently on the edge he lay facing. His arm was outstretched on the sheets, mouth gaping open lopsidedly as small snores escaped his lips. Kate never could sleep in complete silence. She stayed there for a while, just watching how he slept and how the constant frown engraved in his forehead meant his demons were out to play. 

She made the mistake of slipping her hand into his; his entire body stirring instantly. Her breath hitched and she instantly pulled away, their hands brushing for what was the last time. "Kate" 

Seth's voice was gravelly and it made her weaknesses creep out; she stood from the bed instantly and grabbed the handle on her case. "I'm sorry" she whispered, even though he wouldn't hear it. "I'm sorry, Seth"

"Kate" he said, more forcefully as she heard him leap from the bed behind her and shuffle across the apartment at utmost speed. She grabbed the handle on the door and opened it just as Seth stopped her. "What's going on? Where are you going?"

"Just let me leave, Seth, I've explained it all" She answered, tears filling in her eyes. Seth's bedhead was amusing but she couldn't laugh. The mixture of confusion and hurt on his face was distracting enough as it is. She shook her head as she sniffed, "You have to let me go" 

"Kate" He pleaded, placing a hand on her arm softly. "Go where, what are you doing, where are you going?" 

"Seth" She whispered, shutting her eyes as she felt his hand fall limp at his side. The warmth of his touch dissipated quicker than she'd liked. She felt him step away, not knowing whose heart broke first; his or hers. "You have to let me go"

"I don't understand" he muttered softly, confused. "I- why?" His voice cracked, and Kate sped things up immediately, pulling the ring that Seth had gifted her on her twenty first birthday off her finger. The ring wasn't technically an engagement ring, although what he had told her when he gave it to her felt a lot like it. It was more of a promise, and her guilt made her hand feel heavy. She placed it in his huge palm. "No, Kate, don't do this"

He had to have seen it coming, Kate certainly had. Instead of settling down like he had suggested, Seth had begun to see a lot more of Richie. His influence was bad, and Kate was the only one who realised it. Seth spent more and more time away from her and she spent more and more nights alone and all he cared about was the income he was earning because of it. It was the one thing he'd promised her he wouldn't do, after everything her father had done, and yet here she was. 

She had considered contacting Scott to see if she could visit and possibly stay with him, but she didn't have the cash. And although she wanted out of that apartment, she couldn't leave him completely. She knew exactly how Seth would fall into a hole and not climb back out until it was too late. It would destroy any sort of decency she had left in her if she let that happen. 

"It's for the best" She managed, without her voice cracking too loudly.

"Bullshit" He roared, clutching the ring tightly in his hand as he turned away from her, running his other hand through his hair. Kate covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stop herself from bleeding out with pain. It was bubbling; it was ready. "That's bullshit!" 

"We aren't good for each other anymore, Seth, can't you see that?" She asked, her tears getting the better of her as she let her sobs out. "I don't want to hurt you more than I already have"

"That's bullshit, Kate, you are exactly what's good for me" He replied, "Please, don't do this, Kate, I love you. I do, I really do. I can't do this shit without you, please"

She took the note resting on top of her case and thrust it in his hands. Shaking her head, she opened the door and rolled her things to the hallway. "I love you"

The door clicked shut. She waited a few seconds, ten, fifteen. A minute, two. Looking for any sign for her to go back inside and hold the breaking man that she loved. For him to tell her she's crazy. But he loves her, too.

Seth didn't open it again. 

—

_Seth,_

_I have a new apartment that I just signed the lease for a few days ago. It's mine as I write this. The landlord is an ass, but I'll live._

_I'm sorry this couldn't have worked out the way you wanted it too. The time we spent together were the happiest years of my life. But to be in a failing relationship this early in my life isn't healthy. It's not healthy for the both of us. Which is why I have to go._

_Your loyalties clearly lie with your brother, and I respect that. I do. I just feel that everything we do has gotten so half assed and one sided. I'm tired of being that one side. I'm tired of laying awake wondering if you're even going to come home. It's terrifying. It's unnerving when you don't. It's exhausting when you do and we fight about it. I have cried way too often to be whole again._

_I love you Seth. I do. I always will. I will always cherish you. And if things are ever different, then maybe this could work. There will always be a spot in my heart for you. And whether God throws us together in the future is unpredictable. I know you'll have no belief in that, but I do. And maybe you can, too._

_I apologise for any hurt I have caused you; you were there for me when I hurt so much I never thought it would stop. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you._

_I'll always remember the dumbass who sat next to me in history class freshman year, my best friend. His charm and wit is hard to forget._

_Yours,_

_Kate_

—

Kate sold her apartment over a year ago and moved into an apartment with some people on her college course. Overall, she'd shared an apartment with 5 girls 4 boys and even someone's dog. It was a huge place but she still had to share rooms with other people. It wasn't exactly new to her so she didn't mind.

She'd gotten into firm touch with Scott. The two of them had flew between DC and Kansas to spend time with one another, and he'd alerted Kate that their father had passed on in the passing year. It took a toll on her for some time, but he'd moved back with Scott and their mother in his final months and begged for their forgiveness. Kate found it in her heart to forgive him, too.

Her twenty third birthday was approaching. She knew her roommates were planning something, but none of them would spill anything. She'd received gifts from Scott and her mother in the passing weeks, the both of them knowing they wouldn't arrive on the day if they weren't sent in advance. 

Kate sat in her bed writing in the journal Scott had gifted her; it was leatherback and expensive and she almost sent it back and told him to refund it. Once she'd written on the first page, it felt rightly at home within her and she didn't have the heart to return it to Kansas.

"Kate, door's for you" 

Her ears perked up as she realised she missed the doorbell entirely, putting the journal on the bed and grabbing the half empty beer bottle she'd been drinking out of before heading toward the stairs. Her roommate's shenanigans became louder in her ear as they were howling and screaming from the front room. She suppressed a smile as she clocked eyes on Johnny, the eldest roommate and utter stud, stood by the door with his hand on it. 

"Thanks" She answered, heading out the door and into the hallway that housed the front door. Kate heard her beer bottle smash as her heart sunk inside her body. Practically sprinting toward the door, she opened it instantly to confirm her theory based on the outline through the glass window. 

It was raining heavily and she could tell. He was drenched. Not only that, his eye was swollen so far off his face that it looked like something growing. She could only stand there looking, her body unknown as to how to react in the situation she'd imagined for weeks on end until she'd forced herself to stop. To stop thinking about it. Because he clearly wasn't coming back otherwise he would have fought for it.

"Seth" She spluttered, tears filling up in her eyes. He was the epitome of broken. It was breaking her.

"Kate" He answered quietly. "He left me"

He? Richie. It was exactly what she saw coming.

"Seth.." She said once again, her voice trailing off as he broke down on her doorstep. 

"Kate" He cried again. "He left me" 

"I'm sorry" She said, because it was all she could say. It was the one thing she should have said when she left. What she repeated to herself every time she regretted it. That she was sorry. 

And for the first time in two years, the two of them embraced and time fit them together as if they had never been apart.

**Author's Note:**

>  **title:** song lyrics from ' _celestial_ ' by _tori kelly_
> 
> i worked several nights on this fic and really wanted to capture the essence of their characters correctly as i'm still new to sk! go easy
> 
> find me elsewhere:
> 
>  **twitter:** vanlangs  
>  **tumblr:** bisexualieberman


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